30 marzo 2010

XXV

I don't even know how to start this post.
I just know I've been under a lot over the past three months. I've started to think as an adult, not a youngster anymore and that's what woes my the most...
Ten years ago I was so ambitious, so driven for what I was doing back then.
Jeez, I still have no fucking idea where my aspiration went...
Ten years ago I was an underground teenager, who loved drawing and writing. Quite popular nevertheless, but always isolating myself, recluded in my daydreaming world.
I would dream of PG-13 adventures with horny, cracksmoking femme fatales in France, long shamisen sessions with geishas in Kyoto or exhausting volleyball games and capirinhas in Rio.
I haven't done anything of that... I haven't even gone to the States once...
This last Saturday a friend of mine told me not to worry for what I haven't done, but for what I am to do for my future, and he's fucking right.
But question is: Would I ever accomplish what I had planned ten years ago?
I never thought age would be a problem for me, but it is now.
I am scared. Scared for my future, and I know I should not worry about the future, but I certainly am...
In the morning, when I was having breakfast with my pops and bro, I realized one thing: no matter how old we get, we'll always have a place to call home, where we we'll always be children until the day we die...

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