31 diciembre 2009

Resolutions 2010

1. Wanna hang out with my homies lot more...

2. Seriously keep on reading whatever that crosses my path...

3. Take up a photography, cooking or French lessons. Possibly a second degree...

4. Fucking go abroad... Let's try South America first...

5. Truth is money can't buy you happiness but, oh Boy, it feels good to have it.

6. I'm fed up with this lanky body of mine. Wanna work out...

7. I really need to take some risks... I think my life is getting boring as I'm growing ol'...

8. Don't want to fall in love again . Or maybe she's just around the corner.
You never know...maybe I'll never know...

9. Become a monster to get what I want. Discipline, self-determination, a perfectionist. I can't beat around the bushes anymore, I just need work my ass off to get what I want. I can't keep on playing two different persons, I just need to quit being a soft guy and start enduring myself.
That's what I learned from the UVM experience.
I'll be a monster...

H A P P Y 2 0 1 0

30 diciembre 2009

2009 damage recap

Another year went & fleeting... I have to admit I had never learned so much in a single year so far in my life.
I left a position at the Fac, I left my chance to be with her, I moved to the Valley, I left my friends and my not-very-well-paid job at CILC, picked up another job at a horrible school where fortunately enough I met a little person who recommended me for a job. I'm going to stick to that one...
I checked my resolutions for 2009 and I could barely achieve just a couple... It seems that my trip to NY is going further away even more. I just can't afford to ♥ NY.
This year I'm supposed to go under en eye surgery to get my vision all fixed. Hopefully I'll be getting my Ciclops vision by September.
This year we were acknowledged something: Nothing's for granted. I might say this was 2009's great lesson for us.
My dad was diagnosed with diabethis and for the first time I fell my entire world started to fall apart right in front of my eyes.
A month ago Mom found a little something in her bossom. Her mom died from the big C. We are still wandering amongst doubt and fear. I saw her cry. She's quite a tough girl, that's what freked the hell out of me. If she curmbled about her own health, how we are supposed to feel?
My brother doesn't want to study anymore and his only way out is to seek for shelter in drinking. We are tired to tell him to go the right way, he's a fucking grown up and he behaves as if he was fucking 7 y/o. We just have to let him touch bottom to see him finally wake up. Just hope it's not too late.
I'm moving back again to my old flat. I realized that as much as I love my family, they're not going to change just because I tell them to do so. I love my folks but they're just a bunch of crazy little people =) I realized I should not keep stuck myself, I should move on with my life and start making myself nothing but happy.
I also learned that I have to harden myself in order to survive, I just can't keep on playing the cool guy. UVM taught me nothing is what it seems and it's something I tought I had mastered well, as I play lots of characters but never show the real me. Call me fucking fake ass dick if you want, but there's no way I'm going to open up myself completely. People might think I'm fucking disturbed. Let's just keep my tiny twisted mind for my personal enjoyment and delight.
I became aware that she doesn't love me and she never will. I really need to get her out of my system.
The greatest lesson is that I learned I have to turn into a monster to get what I want, and a monster I'll be if it's what it takes.
So far, it seems that 2010 will be an interesting and quite hard year to handle.
Just pray for the strenght and the patience to cope with the challenge's life has in store for my folks and I.
As I said before, I never asked for this life, nonetheless it belongs to me.
I can't do anything else but live it...

24 diciembre 2009

Merry Xmas y'all!


21 diciembre 2009


Zoé - Poli

Recuerdo a Poli
Era mi chica ideal
Una dulce perla blanca mexicana
La cual yo amaba
Pero nunca pude tener
Ni mostrarle todo lo que le escribi
En el fondo del mar
Flotando por el Universo en busca de señal
Señales de vida
En su constelacion electroradiograma de amor
Detellos de mil años luz
Esta es la historia de una vieja cancion
La de la primera vez
Recuerdo a Poli era mi chica ideal
Una dulce perla blanca mexicana
La cual yo amaba
Pero nunca pude tener
Ni mostrarle todo lo que le escribi en la espalda del Sol
Flotando por el Universo en busca de señal
Señales de vida
En su constelacion
Mensajes o evidencia de amor
De mil años luz
Esta es la historia de una vieja cancion
La de la primera vez
She´s All I Wanted
She´s All I Needed
The dream
The dream of all the men in Mexico

Videos tu.tv

One of my favorite Mexican bands. Video directed by Rodrigo Guardiola.

20 diciembre 2009

Stupid things I've done for love ♥

I die for her †

J - So, tell me about this girl... how is it going with her?

M - Well, I stopped seeing her because I moved to the valley, and I didn't have a lot of time to ask her out and stuff.

J - But, do you still feel there's something going on with her? I mean... like love or such?

M - I honestly don't know... It's just... This may sound stupid but, whenever she's around, everything turns into perfection. I feel loved, even when I know she doesn't love me...

J - She doesn't love you?

M - Well... I just don't know... There was a time when I hated her, for all she made me feel, you know... But then I realized I didn't hate her, I just was disappointed because she didn't even try...

J - Do you love her?

M - I die for her...

J - Wow, so you do love her!

M - Mmmh... why is that for?

J - Because over the years I've learned that guys would not sacrify themselves for a girl. You said you die for her. That's a big thing, Matt.

M - That's how I feel, but the question is if she will ever feel the same about me, and that's what saddens me the most...

J - You never know...

M - I honestly do not understand chicks...

J - You sometimes don't have to understand us, but love us...

* A chat I had with good old Jana at her place in the Citya week ago. Translated to English.
I realized girls are hard to understand...

19 diciembre 2009

Cherry Bossom Girl

Oh boy! Wanna eat those little red round cherries!
I've been kind of horny lately :P

17 diciembre 2009

Breathless by Godard

My obsession with A bout de Souflle by Godard has started to grow even more.
These are some of my favorite screencaps.

14 diciembre 2009

13 diciembre 2009

E v e r y t h i n g

Cause I would give everything that I own
I’d give you my heart and this skin and these bones
The sun, the moon, the earth, the sky
I’d never even stopped to wonder why

-Stereo Fuse Everything

Heads will roll

Pretty much done with the fucking semester at work. I had never cut so many heads so far in my teaching career. Those li'l slackers deserved it I got to say...
Rising rage and anger against me is not a daily bread for me, but I had to face it though. I can recall that on my beloved CILC it was hard for me to fail students. I actually failed 8 or 9 in 2 years and a half I worked there.

Quite a different story at the Lynx's Cave. In just one group almost 10 people failed. Hard to believe. Tears and curses, threats and bribes were expected to show up. But me... just a cold heart motherfucker. I might have done something for them a couple of months ago, but after the whole ordeal I went through, I just realized that, if they didn't give a fuck about my class, why would I give a fuck about'em?

Not very good philosophy for a teacher, but it's nothing but the truth.

Heads will roll this last week at work, I just hope that among all this pointless college drama, mine doesn't roll too.

09 diciembre 2009

About having or not having

06 diciembre 2009

I always fall for girls who aren't cut out for me

I was trying to hook up this chick at school but after a close encounter or tete á tete, she just seemed not to be quite smart. Her so-called sleeping problems, irresponsability and annoying undiscipline just let me down.
Quite discouraging T-T

03 diciembre 2009

The Dark Side of the Moon

Every one is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
-Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)

About Twilight, New Moon, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen

A year ago one of my best buddies told me not to got to watch Twilight, which is a chick-flick. I did and, oh boy, what a shame...

At the university I'm working right now, lots of 18-or-19-year-old students are crazy about this vampire-wannabe tearjerker film.

One of them uttered these shocking words: "Twilight and New Moon are the best movies I've ever seen in my life!"


When I was 13 my favorite film was 'A Clockwork Orange' and then on my parents, specially mom taught us to worship good cinema.

Girls are crazy about Robert Pattinson (aka Edward Cullen) and Kristen Stewart (who the most appealing yet boring character in the film and BTW quiiiiiiiiiiiite hot).

I don't know... when I was young vampires used to have fangs, eat people up and show no remorse about it. Now they they go through a hormonal ordeal before they go to sleep.

Wish Buffy ended up with this cheesy trilogy...

01 diciembre 2009